Monday, January 31, 2011

Take care of your body with steadfast fidelity. The soul must see through these eyes alone, and if they are dim, the whole world is clouded.

Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.


It has become my one of my goals to not only get back in shape, but help and inspire others to do so. I will get nothing out of it, except warm fuzzies over knowing I'm holding myself and my loved ones accountable. [It helps to now have a partner in this goal, Thanks Kate!] Plus... I'm not always the most disciplined individual and kind of need to be held accountable. I got all stressed out for a straight week, lived on cereal, yogurt and water and dropped 7 lbs. Yeah, go me? lol. Till I went back to my "normal" and gained some back. I want to do it right this time. Making a list of things that help you to maintain a healthy LIFESTYLE, not just some sort of a "diet" that will fade with time.


Little things, big differences:
Drink water.
The more I drink it, the more I find myself craving it. It really is not only great for you, it's good. I used to love a cold coca cola. I won't even try to hide that... I've struggled with a sort of addiction to it for awhile now. But, it's not good for me. I refuse to give it to my kids because I know it's bad for them- so why should I put it into my body? When it's the middle of July and you're dying of thirst, do you want soda? How about on the elliptical machine at the gym? Probably not. I gave it up becaues the long term effects (weight gain, yellow teeth and possible kidney trouble) were NOT worth it. Water quenches thirst... and not drinking enough can cause you to feel hungry when you're actually just dehydrated (or thirsty). Before you give into the temptation to eat an unhealthy snack, drink a glass of water and wait awhile. Chances are, you'll feel fuller and will be less likely to overeat.

Make a list before you go to the grocery store.
This prevents making last minute unhealthy impulse buys that you'll regret when you're sitting there watching tv and not really paying attention to how many oreos you've eaten. There's nothing wrong with enjoying treats in moderation (if you don't allow yourself these things in moderation, it causes binging later)... but if I don't have a thought out list, I'm far more likely to find quick things like potato chips and frozen pizza more appealing. Things I normally wouldn't purchase if I had a plan.

Do NOT eat in front of the television.
This is something I swore I would never do. Children who have family meals regularly around a table are proven to have better grades, be more in touch with their families and have better self esteem. TV causes you to be distracted and maybe not realize how much you're eating . It also prevents you from communicating with your family. Studies have proven that overweight children eat generally 50% of their meals in front of a television. Now, I will be the first to admit... that when it is just me and my 2 children, it sometimes depresses me to sit down minus the head of our table and share a meal. He's not there to ask them about their day, and I already know because I was there breaking up arguments and cleaning up the messes. But I have chosen to turn it into a positive experience where THEY are given the chance to talk about whatever they want to and at dinner, share what they'd LIKE to do the next day. I believe that instilling this at a very young age will (hopefully) create good habits for them as teenagers and young adults. I don't want them to learn as toddlers that you should eat in front of the television (and not pay attention to what or how much you're putting in your mouth). I owe them the best example, habits, attention and healthy choices I can give them.

Keep moving:
I have been making a concerted effort to be moving as frequently as possible. Jillian Michaels insists that you shouldn't limit yourself to the boring old gym and I completely agree. Go outside... take your kids (or dog/s) for a walk. We took our kids to "Play, Bounce, Jump" and were all exhausted at the end of the day from jumping, running and sliding. It's nice to find family activities that keep you moving without really feeling like exercise. I can't speak for anyone else, but throwing a softball with my husband or kicking a ball around with my kids feels more like fun than a workout. It could be anything- playing at the park, going to the zoo, white water rafting, bike trails. All tons of fun, and all keeping you active!

 I love my soaps... I can't help it. I used to sit for almost 2 hours (off and on) 5 days a week during my 2 shows. Starting last year, I gave it up.... the sitting, not the soaps. I stand and fold laundry, do an ab workout or even use my wii fit plus! I sometimes have no idea what I'd do without that game! Wii fit plus allows me to do my free run or step workout WHILE watching whatever I want on television. It keeps track of your steps within your time frame (10, 20 or 30 minutes) and your approximate calorie burn! As a SAHM, there's not much reason NOT to be doing something- cleaning, laundry, cooking or chasing the kids! For working parents, there are also ways to move even behind your desk! I once saw on a biggest loser "training tip", Bob Harper was saying to use a yoga ball instead of an office chair. I'm sure you'd get a few strange looks for that one... maybe not? :)

No excuses.
It's easy to say "I'm too busy" or "I'll start tomorrow". I've heard (and been guilty myself) of starting fad "diets" on Mondays. What is that about? Maybe it makes it easier to keep track of? I don't know. But it all goes back to siezing the day. Make the change now because we aren't promised tomorrow. Set a goal and stick to it till it becomes a habit. Dieting is bad because fitness is a lifestyle, not a 3 month thing to get you into a bathing suit for summer vacation. Is that a plus? Yes it is. It's also a good way to motivate yourself. Choose a bikini or a pair of jeans or a dress you want to wear in your goal size and use that to push yourself when you feel like falling off the wagon. Not everyone is a self starter who can wake up, decide to get healthy and lose a few pounds and then just keep that up every single day without anyone or anything to keep them going. Set goals... and then do it. We only get one life, so why not make it count? No regrets.

My personal goal, the one that's keeping me going- is picturing myself the way I know I can be. Right before I got pregnant with my son, I was there. I didn't have a 6 pack, but my stomache was toned, I was tan and fit and almost to my goal waist size. What was I doing? Working at a gym that gave me free membership... and I was swimming. Lots and lots of swimming. It is truly amazing how fun and relaxing it is for such a great workout! (Did I mention the tan?) When I want to eat another portion of something I know I shouldn't, I remember that I CAN wear what I want to wear, look the way I want to look and feel good about myself. Giving up cupcakes and sodas is a small price to pay for feeling good in my favorite jeans or looking good for myself and my husband. And how about being healthy and (God willing) living a long life with my hubby... sticking around for my kids and their kids. What's my short term goal? I mini-getaway with my husband. Just the two of us on a beach, a weekend trip or the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I want to wear a bathing suit and I don't want to go shopping for one and leave feeling like poop. I have photos of where I want to go, of myself before my pregnancies and the things I want to wear in random places to remind me of why I'm pushing myself. Those help too. :)

It's been incredibly cold and snowy here the last month or so. It can become challenging to stay active indoors especially with little ones that don't have much of an attention span. Today, the roads are icy and too dangerous for me to take my kids out and drive to the gym. Ideas? P90x. Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. Biggest Loser: Last Chance workout. Wii fit Plus. It's great to have a backup plan. What about keeping your kids fit during the winter months?  Dancing. Jumping jacks and running in place for kiddos- and I'm not talking boot camp. My kids LOVE to imitate mom (though, usually to drive me bonkers) during a workout or even just being silly. The upside to THIS is also that they will probably be really tired and ready for nap/bedtime! I know I sleep better when I'm active!

What are little changes you make to stay healthy and stay active? What do you do to help keep your family moving?

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Sometimes the things you are most afraid of are the things that make you the happiest.

To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.  ~Doménico Cieri Estrada
My husband makes everything better. I just had to get that out there. Without him to encourage me and make sense of things, I would probably be a mess. Knowing he thinks of me randomly when we can't see each other every day makes me feel good. I'm jealous that TX has Grey's anatomy seasons for $17 but here they're all redonkulous prices, and it makes me smile that my husband even cared to look in the first place. :) I love being married to my best friend... aside from fantastic children, is there anything better? Nothing.

Does time really heal all wounds... or is it the other way around? I've been driving myself crazy (and probably those left who are close to me- i.e. my husband and my daddy) wondering if time actually makes things worse. It leaves questions and awkwardness and a bit of a small void where something really great used to be. Something you can survive without, but are also not the same without. big sigh. I'm anxious and weird. Sometimes I'll have an epiphany about how to just fix it and make it better... sometimes I feel sad about it and talk myself out of whatever conclusion I'd come to. In the end, I decided what to do what's been asked of me and trust that the best possible outcome will be. One of my greatest leaps of faith in a long time, I think.

What I've learned is to appreciate what I do have. To be grateful that while things aren't perfect, they are mine. I woke up this morning feeling *dreadful* [congrats, yay!]. I think I might've gotten the tummy bug from my dad- a migraine and ridiculous nausea. Guess it's going around. I finished season 2 of "Brothers & Sisters", which was amazing but suffered because of the '07-'08 writers strike... I stayed in bed (aside from feeding the kids, switching out their movies, breaking up fights and making a HUGE deal out of the awesome "castles" they built me from blocks). We made a late afternoon walmart run and they had frozen pizza with mac and cheese. I know, I feel awful about it. But the kids got way more movie time than they're used to and I almost feel okay. How did I get lucky enough to have kids that at 2 & almost 4 actually allowed me to do that? They didn't even complain about being cooped up in the house for most of the day. Did I mention a husband who from 10 hours away can make my entire day with one phone call? I adore him for that. I'm figuring things out and I'm okay. Progress. :)

Tomorrow I start "Grey's Anatomy." It's long overdue... on a list of things I've just been putting off. I have a feeling it's going to be bittersweet, but I'm excited none-the-less. Monday I start back at the gym... since I still can't seem to get a call back about my MRI from my dr. They said 5 days ago they'd call me to schedule it, I've left messages and still heard nada. Not the first time this particular office has proven their incompetency.

It's been gorgeous here the last two days. We had a playdate scheduled at the park and there was still snow everywhere except on the equipment itself. I think what we actually did was better, but words couldn't possibly do it justice. Kids are adorable. Even when they're ornery and impossibly stubborn... they are truly hilarious. I love seeing them learn or figure something out for the first time or even push my buttons in an attempt to find their independence.

She's so stunning... I think we're gonna need a baseball bat.

He makes me smile.

Yes, he's awesome.

Always on my mind.

Coloring mama a fish.


K asks for a Shark... and tells me this is a whale. Then he thanked me for the shark. Toddlers! ;)

Rant for the day: Relationships are everything. To quote a cheesy movie... Love may not make the world go 'round, but it's what makes the ride worthwhile. It's great to try new things and change your life. But we are nothing without those who we love and who love us back. Jobs, hobbies, school, goals- all very significant, and nothing without someone to share them with. My new recipes wouldn't be nearly exciting if I didn't have a horror story to laugh about, or someone to enjoy a creation I'm proud of. I cannot imagine a world without my little family- without our laughs and quirks or the tough times we get each other through. I want to be a better version of myself so I can make a difference somehow, but I also want the world to improve for my kids and their generation. I want to set an example for them to make better decisions than I have at times, and to be an example to those around them. At the end of the day, that's what we will always have, a bond with the people we love. No matter how fantastic or horrible the day, it's great to have loved ones to share it with.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.

Tomorrow is the anniversary of the loss of my great grandmother. I can't believe it will be 6 years... it just doesn't seem possible. The hardest part for me was that I hadn't seen her for several months when she passed away... and she lived less than 20 minutes from me. I was so absorbed in high school, work, friends, myself and whatever that I just wasn't there for someone who really mattered. Every year I set aside time to remember her, I miss her... but I still wonder why. 6 whole years, and I still cannot forgive myself for being so selfish. Wondering if she knew how much she was loved or if she felt like I'd just abandoned her. The whole thing was surreal to me because it was the closest death of a loved one I'd ever experienced.

When I was younger and my dad was working (and my grandma- her daughter was too busy to watch me), I went to Great Grandma's house. She always kept ice cream sandwiches for me because she knew I loved them. She'd let me lay in her bed and have the tv all to myself. Every visit, without fail, I would take the hand towels out of her bathroom... and hide them from her. She knew all of these things were coming when I was around, and as a parent now, I can't imagine how dreadful I must've been. But she loved me, she prepared for me and we always laughed together about it. I never remember her losing her temper with me or even showing me how exhausted she was. I can't remember a time I went over there that we didn't have fun. When I was about 6 or 7, she took me to the pool that was up the street from their house... some kid made a floaty (poo poo) in the pool and thinking it was a leaf, my great grandma picked it up with her bare hand and set it on the side of the pool. Talk about laugh out loud moment. Everyone had to get out of the pool while they cleaned it and stuff... but I will NEVER forget that day.  We just had a special relationship that I don't often hear about between GREAT grandparents and their grandbabies. Out of the 17 years she was in my life, I only ever remember seeing her lose her temper once... and, I'll be honest, it was kind of amusing to hear such a quiet, sweet woman using such a very.. umm... colorful word. We had different beliefs, but I know she loved God.. and she tried to live the way she should. She was married to my great grandfather for over 67 years- a true, shining example of what it means to stick with someone for better or worse.

When we lost her, I promised I'd never take my family for granted again. I am sad to say, I haven't been completely faithful to this promise. I've tried, but life gets in the way and that's not an excuse. It has also given me a lot of things to think about. I sometimes don't want to "drag out the markers" or the playdoh or whatever it may be. I don't want to make a mess that I'll have to clean up later. Then I realized.. that the memories my babies make are FAR more valuable than the 2-3 minutes it'll take me to pick up after the project of the day. It's not the gifts my grandma bought me or the places she took me (though I remember those also)... it's the time and love she blessed me with that were truly priceless. I owe her so much for those.. the same way I owe my children the opportunity to make those memories of their own, with Jer and I as well as with grandparents and great grandparents. They have so much to offer and it's so unfair for any child to be denied that. Not every grandparent will live to see their grandbabies have babies. Not every parent will see their child get married and start a family. With the mindset that everything is temporary, a few hours with a parent, grandparent or great grandparent become so much more precious.

I was the one who wrote and read the eulogy at her funeral (as well as my great grandfathers 3 weeks later). This is the poem that I read. It provided me with comfort and hopefully did the same for others.

When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me.
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today;
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
know how much you love me
As much as I love you;
And each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.
She said my place was ready
In heaven far above;
And that I'd have to leave behind,
All those I dearly love.
But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye;
For all my life, I'd always thought
I didn't want to die.
I

had so much to live for,
So much yet to do;
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad;
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday
Just even for awhile,
I'd say goodbye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.
But then I fully realized
That this could never be;
For emptiness and memories
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things
I might miss come tomorrow;
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates
I felt so much at home;
When God looked down and smiled at me
From His great golden throne.
He said, "This is eternity
And all I've promised you;
Today your life on earth is past,
But here it all starts anew."
"I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last;
And since each day's the same day,
There's no longing for the past."
"But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true;
Though at times you did do things,
You knew you shouldn't do."
"But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free;
So won't you take my hand
And share my life with me?"
So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here in your heart.


Rest In Peace, Grandma. You are so loved and so missed. <3
I

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

I feel a recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation.

“Noncooks think it's silly to invest two hours' work in two minutes' enjoyment; but if cooking is evanescent, so is the ballet.”

-Julia Child

I'm still learning and finding my "niche" in the kitchen. Still find myself missing some of the necessities that I should've remembered while I was at the store. haha. Like running out of taco seasoning on taco night or almost running out of whatever it may be. The good news is, I'm able to improvise. Then it occured to me that everyone's "staples", kitchen essentials... are probably different. My must haves used to include meat (pork, ground beef, chicken and steak), tuna, hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, hamburger helper, seasoning salt, ground beef and different kinds of pasta. NOT exactly healthy- just quick, easy and kid and husband-friendly. I rarely used flour or sugar or seasonings of any kind, I never would've considered adding some sort of soup mix (pouch form) to my food. There are a lot of essentials that I keep around... but the things I had never really considered before are must-haves now. I try to keep fresh veggies and/or fruit around, but that's difficult to always have, since you'll run out of some things faster than others. My kids would eat an entire cantaloupe in one day if I'd let them, but it takes a whole week to finish a bag of baby carrots. I cannot wait for summer when the fruit is fresh and not ridiculously expensive! I'm having to use frozen strawberries for my strawberry shortcake tonight... not ideal, but it's better than nothing. [By the way, this is a light, relatively healthy dessert that is still to die for!] I (except this week) ALWAYS keep taco seasoning and stand 'n stuff shells on hand... just in case I'm feeling lazy or don't particularly want to cook. I'm working towards whole grain shells, but Rome wasn't built in a day. That's a 10 minute meal that's always a family pleaser. I still keep hot dogs and mac and cheese because, hey, my kids are 2 and 3 1/2. It's not all they eat, of course.. but, it's sometimes necessary with our schedule.

 I always have to have ranch packets in the pantry- dip for veggies (light sour cream is a must have), sauteed mushrooms or seasoning meat or potato dishes. I always try to keep crescent roll dough because it can also be turned into just about anything- dessert, lunch, snack or dinner side. Plenty of snacky stuff- applesauce, whole grain goldfish and things of that nature. But then I find it's a slippery slope and anything can be considered a staple. I have almost a half dozen in every category except "bakery". ha... when you love to cook, you "must have" a lot of things. This is why I always make a list... it keeps me from making unhealthy choices, helps me remember things (since I'm already juggling toddlers and coupons) AND it's proven to save money. I am completely in love with the steam-in-the-bag veggies! They're fresher that way AND easier/less expensive than cans. They save me from dirtying another pan at mealtimes, and I'll take it if it simplifies my evening routine by even 1%.

Seasons also have a huge impact on our necessary items. During the holidays (Halloween-New Years), I find myself using a lot more baking items- flour, sugar, cinnamon, chocolate chips seemed to be on my list at least once a month this past holiday season. During the summer, sandwiches, salads or just raw foods (things like fruits, vegetables, nuts) that don't involve cooking indoors. We try to grill a lot during the summer and even fall. I'm never as hungry (or as inspired to stand over a hot stove) when it's 100 degrees outside. As opposed to Mid-January when it's 1 degree outside and I am looking forward to that bowl of hot chicken noodle soup with a grilled cheese sandwich.

None of this even taps into kitchen utensils or appliances. I got a laugh out of a "Brothers and Sisters" episode where Sally Fields mother informs her that she's not ACTUALLY cooking because she's got some many small kitchen appliances and gadgets. I happen to love my Ninja blender, my disney princess waffle maker, apple corer and my countertop griddle. I truly believe we would eat out constantly if not for the crockpot. But most of the others, I didn't use enough to justify keeping and had to say goodbye. I sold my standing mixer (and I kind of miss it, I won't lie), automatic can opener (because, let's face it... it's lazy and it takes longer) and even the deep fryer. They're just not things I use frequently enough to clutter my already minimal cabinet space with. If I had the room, I'd want it all. :)

So what are your must haves? The kitchen essentials you couldn't get through the week (or even day) without? Perhaps a coffee maker? Smoothie blender? A lot of people rely on their microwave or a toaster oven. I'd never thought about it till this morning, but we almost have just as much of our own style in the kitchen as we would with what we wear.

Feel free to share... I really am curious!! :)



Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Moving on is simple, what you leave behind that makes it difficult.

"Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding."

"We all lose friends.. we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on."

I think I have somewhat reached one of my goals for my cooking challenge. Instead of scrambling at mealtime (for lunch) and just giving up and eating out, I am able to get creative and put together meals that my children enjoy, and that I'm proud of. Especially since we discovered that there's a serving of vegetables in their ravioli. ;) Seriously though... last night could've been dreadful. I wasn't hungry at dinnertime and didn't particularly feel like cooking a full meal. I decided to make tacos... started to brown the meat only to discover that I didn't have (or couldn't find) my taco seasoning. Seriously? So... I seasoned it myself with what I had and it was a success. They actually ate it better than when I DO use the pre-made seasoning AND I didn't use all the extra salt. We haven't had fast food (I'm proud to say) in almost 2 weeks. I'm a big time "on the go" person so even though it's generally some sort of chicken with apples and water for them, it's still food that I haven't prepared and have no control over what goes into it. It's not exactly cost effective when it comes down to it either, it all comes down to impulse and convenience. I'm thankful for what I learned and that the kids seem to be really enjoying and appreciating the home cooked meals. K actually ate roast last week- he thought it was steak and I didn't have the heart to correct him. Especially when he asked for seconds. Emily would eat my scrambled eggs every day if I put them in front of her... which is HUGE because until last October, I couldn't make eggs at all (except boiled). I think I've hit a plateau... which means it's time to start REALLY trying new things and leaving my comfort zone.

I'm starting to feel restless. I'm ready for an adventure... I want to do something new and exciting. I'd love to do something fun with the kiddos, but I also sort of feel like they're old enough to stay with grandparents for a couple days... I'd like a small getaway with my hubby. We've been married over 3 years, together for 4 and known each other for 5 and we've still not had anything like that, not even a honeymoon. I want to do something we will both enjoy- but my secret vote is for the wizarding world of Harry Potter. I've been a fan since middle school and who doesn't love amusement parks? It's on my bucket list regardless. Something I MUST do before I die.

I think it's time to snap a few pics of the kiddos in their matching KU outfits. :)




Thought for the day:
When something upsets you, take a few hours... or even days to calm down, cool off and clear your head. Then go back to the problem and evaluate the situation again. It's amazing how much things change when you're not filled with emotion and/or adrenaline from the stress of whatever was troubling you. Things tend to be a lot more promising- or at least seem more possible. Some things happened recently that were hurtful (to more than just me) and very difficult. Upon further consideration, I've realized that now is just not the time- but that I DO believe there will be one soon. I needed to see things logically and for what they were. To accept my mistakes and those made that were not my own. None of it is as big now as it seemed then. Finding myself much more at peace with the entire thing... and able to let time heal. Closing yourself off and not facing a situation was MY easy way. Don't take it... it leads to nothing but more hurt and regret. Leave yourself open to new possibilities and allow your loved ones to help you. You'll be glad you did.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Ready, set, snow!

My hilarious furbaby just ate a hot tomale (red cinnamon candy) and is trying to impress me with his fresh breath. hehe. My sweet little Mack-y-poo... what would I do without him?

The only thing that could've made these last few days better is, of course, my husband. As long as the roads are clear (or as long as I'm not driving in it), I am loving all this snow! 4 more inches tonight- there was some pretty heavy snow driving home from my dad's.Everyone's complaining, but... you live in the midwest. Comes with the territory. :) It's been a nice family weekend... we went out for daddy's birthday dinner and then played a domino game I hadn't played in at least 8+ years. Much, much fun! So much that we did it again tonight- except my dad and his fiance cooked a dinner that was, hands down, 10 times better than Outback last night. The kiddos have loved all the grandparent time and I'm sure that went both ways. I should really take advantage of living so close to my family while we do. So, effective immediately- that's added to my 2011 "resolutions". You don't need a "new year" to change your lifestyle, by the way. Carpe diem. Do it now... at 11:15 p.m., 2 a.m. Set a goal and make it happen, I dare you. :)

Friday afternoon was another snow day play day since I wasn't up for it Thursday. Everything is just beautiful and quiet... and when it's actually snowing, it's almost enchanted. I had almost forgotten until I got to relive it with my kiddos. I really wanted to make a snow fort, but that isn't happening with 2 kiddos. Which is why I'm so psyched for tomorrow afternoon... We're teaming up with my friend across the street and her kiddos to make one! Yes, I'm giddy. I won't lie, I'm not ashamed.

Thought for the day:
Be an adult, but enjoy things as if you were a child again. See them with fresh eyes and appreciate them. My kids get excited over goldfish crackers and playdoh. I wish I were as excited about anything as they get when I let them bake with me or play in the snow. It's really sort of beautiful... and I want to be just like them.

Photos from our snowday!!

Just the driveway. Oh, my aching back. haha.

For my love! <3

Hiding from little man- he was all about the snowball fights.

My turn!

Precious snow angel.

He wanted to make a mini-snowman. Snow.. baby?

Friday, January 21, 2011

We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.

If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit

I woke up today and I just felt good. Good about where I am and where I'm going. I've been focusing on so much negative these last few days (and probably weeks) that I wasn't seeing all the blessings that were right in front of me. Things aren't easy right now, but it's not the end of the world. One way or another, we WILL work through it, and I'm sure we'll probably learn some things along the way. The bad things are temporary... but so are the good things. Which is why, I've realized, it's so important to cherish them.

I hate that my husband is not here with us right now. I miss him more and more each day that passes. I want to hug him and cook for him and just be together. I even miss picking up after him (but, that's between us and if confronted, I will deny). haha. However, he has a duty and an obligation to the military and to our family. We have food, clothes and a roof over our heads because of him. Our children don't have to go to daycare and be with a stranger, because of him. They can nap in their own beds (if ever they should choose to do so, lol. not lately), play with their own toys and if they need or want their mama, I am right there. We don't have to worry that they're being mistreated or wonder if the care provider has a hidden agenda. It's difficult, but it's temporary. And this time will make me appreciate having him home that much more.

Em is becoming so strong willed. I can see already that her teenage years are sure to be interesting. The smarter she gets, the more challenging she becomes... our little hard headed child. She wants to jump on the bed and spin on the computer chair... I think she's figuring out how to milk the "baby of the family" thing. Okay, she thinks she's figured it out- I think her charms work better on daddy. When I get on the computer, she rushes up and gets in my lap and says "Daddy?" Skype fascinates her. It makes me happy that she'll have the relationship with her daddy that I have with mine. It's one of the things I wanted most for her.

Speaking of my daddy- Happy birthday wishes! I'm so fortunate to have been raised by him.

K is good. Learning his letters, writing his name... it's slightly devastating to me that my baby will be old enough for Kindergarten next year. He's turning into such a wonderful big brother also. Going to the gym (daycare) and being in their Bible class has allowed me to see different sides of him. He really does look out for her already... how would I have ever known that at home when they're fighting over a toy or just annoyed by one another? I'm so proud of my little protector. :)

I haven't had soda in 3 days... and surprisingly, haven't even missed it. That plus only having an appetite for cereal and yogurt, I'm starting to lose weight and notice a difference. Clearly I cannot just live on yogurt, water and cereal... but eating LESS and not drinking caffeine has made a difference. I shoveled the driveway yesterday after the snow plow had gone down our street and created an over knee-high snow bank at the end of it. My back was feeling back to normal and now it's a little sore again, but still no where near as bad as it was.

I've got some new recipes on the menu for the next week or so. Slow cooker chicken noodle soup, a new beef stroganoff and a side dish or two. It's hard to continue trying new things when I don't have much of an appetite, but I'm sure once I start my regular exercise again, that'll change. Hello crazy metabolism. I am so excited for all the fresh fruit that will be back in season... these winter months are so long without it.

Thought for the day:
Don't let anyone or anything get you down. Everything happens for a reason and it's our responsibility to find and pursue the best possible outcome for ourselves and our loved ones. When one door closes, a new one will open. Never, ever lose faith.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

Wherever I go.

Love like crazy.



New year, new outlooks. I'll be the first to admit that in high school, everything that came along that didn't go my way was a "crisis". Or at least I thought (and acted like) it was. I got older... and bigger things happened that also felt like crises. I was pregnant and unmarried. We got married and he had to go away for a 2 week "AT"- the longest I'd been away from him. 5 months into our marriage, we were pregnant again. All of this happening in our first two years together. I was raising a toddler and a newborn baby... more crises. We find out he is deployed within the U.S. but we still have to stay behind for as many as 17 months. That was the biggest yet. Family in the hospital, K having severe allergies. All of these things could be considered "big" and certainly challenging. But all of them are temporary. People and (some) relationships are temporary, but memories are not. Take the good and leave out all the rest. Life is too short to do anything else.

I'm so over it. It's time to enjoy life... everything will have its challenges, but there is good in it also. My husband and kids have been the biggest blessing. I had to put in the blood, sweat and tears to get to where I am now... and I appreciate it more as a result. K had a nightmare last night... at 3 in the morning I hear him whisper "Mommy, mommy, I'm scared. I want you, mommy. Please?" I went in there and picked him up.. gave him a hug and told him I loved him and that he was safe with me. He was back asleep within 30 seconds. There are no words to describe how amazing that is. Just because you're here, I know I'm safe.  I did that. I promised them the day they were born that I would always be there for them... I guess I've fulfilled that thusfar. It's only going to get more difficult, but I'm blessed to have that opportunity. I hate not seeing him every day, but I am so proud of what he is doing and who he is. I'm lucky to have a husband who is loving, honest and faithful. Who doesn't blow me off for video games or his friends. Who loves and adores his children and has just as much fun going to Disney on Ice as a family as a football game with his friends. What would I do without my amazing family? So from here on out... I'm going to find good in every situation, no matter how challenging it may be. Everything happens for a reason and there is always meaning.

Life is too short to:
Complain
Take life for granted
Take people for granted
Miss an opportunity
Not better yourself
Not forgive
Not to experience new things
Say "I'll do it tomorrow"
Not enjoy what you do
Not do what you enjoy
Not to cherish the people you love
Not tell the people you care about that you love them
Be close-minded
Not slow down and appreciate what you have
Be healthy
Make a difference

Life is too short and I'm not going to waste another minute of it. I'm not going to sit back and wait for life to happen... it IS happening and I refuse to let it pass me by. I'm not going to take the things i have for granted... these two precious little gifts and my second change to re-live everything through their eyes. Today... the magic of snow. Teaching them things and remembering how exciting it all was- and still is if you stop to really think about it. I have a great family and good friends... I just needed to be reminded of that. It took a long chat with a good friend to open my eyes. I don't need anything to be forever... because right now things are pretty freakin' good.

It's pretty simple... be a best friend. Tell the truth. Overuse "I love you." Never let your prayin' knees get lazy... and love like crazy.


Monday, January 10, 2011

There's no business like snow business.

Snow used to immediately stress me out... it's wet and cold and dangerous to drive in. But today it made me feel calm, happy and a little bit giddy. Almost makes me want a Christmas do-over (minus the gifts and hoop-lah)... dinner, hot chocolate, playing in the snow and snuggling under the blankets. We did all of the above except a large meal, it was chicken noodle soup a la Campbells with grilled cheese. Fancy, right? I'm still trying to cook new recipes- but I will NOT be setting a goal for this year. Tomorrow is a garlic cheddar chicken recipe, pretty excited about that one.

I somehow managed to injure my back while sleeping... go figure. Didn't hurt when I went to bed but was throbbing when I woke up. I still managed to shovel my entire driveway and get the kiddos outside for some fun and a photoshoot. I love the way the world seems to stop when there's a ton of snow on the ground. Everyone re-thinks whether they REALLY need to leave the house or not... it's peaceful and pure and beautiful. Not to mention (yes, I'm a weirdo) that it makes for gorgeous photographs. It makes me miss my husband even more since it's always our "family" thing... but there's always later in the year.

Here are some photos from our snow day adventure!










Great, great day.