My husband makes everything better. I just had to get that out there. Without him to encourage me and make sense of things, I would probably be a mess. Knowing he thinks of me randomly when we can't see each other every day makes me feel good. I'm jealous that TX has Grey's anatomy seasons for $17 but here they're all redonkulous prices, and it makes me smile that my husband even cared to look in the first place. :) I love being married to my best friend... aside from fantastic children, is there anything better? Nothing.
Does time really heal all wounds... or is it the other way around? I've been driving myself crazy (and probably those left who are close to me- i.e. my husband and my daddy) wondering if time actually makes things worse. It leaves questions and awkwardness and a bit of a small void where something really great used to be. Something you can survive without, but are also not the same without. big sigh. I'm anxious and weird. Sometimes I'll have an epiphany about how to just fix it and make it better... sometimes I feel sad about it and talk myself out of whatever conclusion I'd come to. In the end, I decided what to do what's been asked of me and trust that the best possible outcome will be. One of my greatest leaps of faith in a long time, I think.
What I've learned is to appreciate what I do have. To be grateful that while things aren't perfect, they are mine. I woke up this morning feeling *dreadful* [congrats, yay!]. I think I might've gotten the tummy bug from my dad- a migraine and ridiculous nausea. Guess it's going around. I finished season 2 of "Brothers & Sisters", which was amazing but suffered because of the '07-'08 writers strike... I stayed in bed (aside from feeding the kids, switching out their movies, breaking up fights and making a HUGE deal out of the awesome "castles" they built me from blocks). We made a late afternoon walmart run and they had frozen pizza with mac and cheese. I know, I feel awful about it. But the kids got way more movie time than they're used to and I almost feel okay. How did I get lucky enough to have kids that at 2 & almost 4 actually allowed me to do that? They didn't even complain about being cooped up in the house for most of the day. Did I mention a husband who from 10 hours away can make my entire day with one phone call? I adore him for that. I'm figuring things out and I'm okay. Progress. :)
Tomorrow I start "Grey's Anatomy." It's long overdue... on a list of things I've just been putting off. I have a feeling it's going to be bittersweet, but I'm excited none-the-less. Monday I start back at the gym... since I still can't seem to get a call back about my MRI from my dr. They said 5 days ago they'd call me to schedule it, I've left messages and still heard nada. Not the first time this particular office has proven their incompetency.
It's been gorgeous here the last two days. We had a playdate scheduled at the park and there was still snow everywhere except on the equipment itself. I think what we actually did was better, but words couldn't possibly do it justice. Kids are adorable. Even when they're ornery and impossibly stubborn... they are truly hilarious. I love seeing them learn or figure something out for the first time or even push my buttons in an attempt to find their independence.
She's so stunning... I think we're gonna need a baseball bat.
He makes me smile.
Yes, he's awesome.
Always on my mind.
Coloring mama a fish.
K asks for a Shark... and tells me this is a whale. Then he thanked me for the shark. Toddlers! ;)
Rant for the day: Relationships are everything. To quote a cheesy movie... Love may not make the world go 'round, but it's what makes the ride worthwhile. It's great to try new things and change your life. But we are nothing without those who we love and who love us back. Jobs, hobbies, school, goals- all very significant, and nothing without someone to share them with. My new recipes wouldn't be nearly exciting if I didn't have a horror story to laugh about, or someone to enjoy a creation I'm proud of. I cannot imagine a world without my little family- without our laughs and quirks or the tough times we get each other through. I want to be a better version of myself so I can make a difference somehow, but I also want the world to improve for my kids and their generation. I want to set an example for them to make better decisions than I have at times, and to be an example to those around them. At the end of the day, that's what we will always have, a bond with the people we love. No matter how fantastic or horrible the day, it's great to have loved ones to share it with.
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