15 Day Challenge!

Brightest nights or darkest days, I'll always feel the same way.

Ever have one of those life-altering moments that happens completely unexpectedly? Just catches you off guard? Where you have a choice to take the easy road or the choice to use a little self control and make a small, but important decision? I found myself at that crossroad tonight. I had my kids young. I had only been 20 for a month and a half when my son was born, and I had just turned 21 a few months before my daughter was born the following year. My dad is going to school for counseling and we had an interesting conversation a few months ago about how the prefrontal cortex of the brain doesn't develop until mid-20's (approximately age 25 for most women). This part of the brain controls our ability to make decisions based on possible consequences and outcomes, consider the reprocussions before acting, adjusting your behavior when a situation changes, adjusting your short term actions with long term goals, etc. So while I feel I've done the best I could as a mom and I know I haven't damaged my children for life, I feel that my maturity level as I'm getting older is making me a better mom. I wasn't always as understanding or patient as I should've been... I just set standards for how I felt my kids should act and expected it without really explaining why in the way I should've. When I learned that some of it actually does come with age, I became more aware of my thoughts, emotions and actions. Even without effort, I've beome more of a patient, calm, grounded individual. Change doesn't stress me the way it used to (for the most part, I still like my routine) and I adapt and do what needs to be done whether I like it or not and attempt to do so with little or no complaining.

Husband is out of town with his sister visiting their family for the evening, I'm not complaining because we've had company for over a week now. I welcomed the quiet and alone time with my kiddos. We had dinner together and they went off to play while I cleaned the kitchen... and then I finish and go back to check on them. Not one, but TWO enormous spots of paint missing from not one, but TWO of our bedroom doors. My children -never- do things like this. I mean, never. I was VERY angry because this time, I knew it was my son. He is extremely intelligent and I know that he knows better. His sister pulled some of it off earlier and he was there when she was disciplined for it. So several hours later he does the same thing, why? I wanted to lose my temper. Take away his toys, spank his bottom or put him to bed early. I excused myself to calm down, returned to his room and asked him why he'd done it. He kind of mumbled for a little while and then I asked "Did you pull the paint off of your door?" He responded (sadly) that he had. Little kids automatically want to put the blame away from them, they don't want to disappoint their parents and they don't want to be in trouble. Still, he told me the truth and admitted what he had done. I told him that I was upset and that I was very disappointed in him. That he was a smart boy and he knew better and that what he did was not okay. I explained that his sister had been in trouble earlier in the day for the exact same thing. I asked him if he had anything to say and he said "I just love you, mom. I'm so sorry I did that and I just want to tell the truth."

In that moment, I felt that it was an opportunity to teach him something. He's 5 now, and this was a chance for a life lesson on his level. I explained to him that everyone, even (especially) mommies and daddies and grown-ups do things that they shouldn't do and that God forgives us when we do them because He loves us. I told him that I would love him no matter what, but that it didn't mean I was any less disappointed in his behavior. That I didn't like what he did, but that it would never, ever change how I felt about him or how much I loved him. We talked, I explained to him that he was going to have his toys taken away and go to bed early and he would get them back tomorrow. He said he knew I loved him and apologized again for what he'd done. I just said we weren't going to do it again and we weren't going to talk about it again. Forgive, forget and move on.

I feel good about it. I could've lost my temper, shown him I was angry and missed the opportunity to teach my child something important. Instead, he learned that there are boundaries and limitations- and he is also learning the concept of forgiveness and unconditional love by deliberate example. (Even on your best behavior, kids will always repeat what you'd rather they didn't). My mother was never around for me, ever. I grew up wondering what I could've possibly done and 1 year old to make her take off and have more kids and really not look back and make an effort with the daughter she left behind. Looking at my kids, I could not fathom leaving them for any reason that was within my control. You'd have to literally kill me. I made a promise to myself that I would do better than my mom did, and though I'm far from a perfect mom, I feel that I've kept that promise to myself and to my kiddos. My dad raised me in a way that I knew, without a single doubt, that whatever I did, wherever I went, he would love me no matter what.

I am constantly faced with things that make me despise adulthood. We live in a cruel, sad, corrupt world and sometimes it makes me sick to think my children will have to grow up in it. But it is so fulfillng to tell your children something and know by the look on their face and the feeling of their little arms around your neck that they -really- understood what you were saying to them. I'm so blessed to have such great kids... even when I stress and worry about who they will become and if I'm doing the right things raising them, they never cease to amaze me with how truly good they are.

Sometimes being an adult isn't all that bad, at least not the mommy bits of it.

"There he is, my little man. I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then. And I pray to God that when he does, I'll be just as understanding as my father was. Cause the last thing that I wanna do is let him down. So instead of bein' angry, I'm gonna throw my arms around him and I'll say 'In the sunlight or the rain, brighest nights or darkest days, I'll always feel the same way. Whatever road you may be on, know you're never too far gone. My love is there, wherever you may be. Just remember that you'll always be my baby.'"

Superhero Bash!

Where do I begin?

With the birthday guy, of course!

This is the photo that went on the birthday event invite on facebook.. as well as the one that was (I'm still working on this) sent to family for his "5 year old" photo. He rocked it, and I am very happy with how the picture came out!

As I said, this was his 5th birthday! Where does the time go? It feels like it's gone slowly, but at the same time I can remember when he was a teeny, tiny newborn like it was yesterday. The things that have gone in between sometimes fly like a film-strip. The first time he crawled, his first steps, the first time he actully tried to eat dog poo (The ONLY time, Thank God. blech), being there when his sister was born, helping and being such a great brother...developing his own personality. He is so funny and so sweet and so protective. And in 2 1/2 months he will be going off to kindergarten. I'll say it again, where does the time go? In those 5 years, I've never actually MADE his cake for his birthday party, I'd made him cakes before... but only for the 4 of us and half always went in the trash. I don't like frosting, hubby's not a cake eater and we try to keep it healthy with the kids. This year, I saw something I kind of liked, had an idea and ended up with the picture above. :) K-man loved the Captain America cake mommy MADE him (he emphasized) and insisted that I make one for his party also. Hubby took some to work and agreed, so I made another for the party day.

Started off with simple decor for his actual birthday... we haven't been able to use latex balloons, it was a possibility this year and I just went with it. Cheap, makes everything decorated and my kids have had hours of entertainment with them for over a week. I just used a little bit of ribbon and tied them to the light hanging from the kitchen.

I saw a version of this on pinterest, but doing it the night before when I was still preparing for the party was a bit mch for me... so I just hung some streamers and balloons from his doorway after he went to bed the night before his birthday.. from the look on his face, that will be a permanent birthday "thing" in our family from here on out. Made him feel special as soon as he opened his eyes on his day.

Blowing out his candles on his birthday morning. :)

These are the certificates we sent home with each kiddo after the birthday party. Once they completed the obstacle course, defeated the villians, learned to mask their identity in the phonebooth and created their own heroes in color-it-yourself comic strips, they were certified SuperHero Academy Grads!

Spot at the head of the table for the guest of honor.

Hero H20 with printables from here! When I started planning this party, I obviously knew it got hot in Texas and usually is on K's birthday. I did NOT know that it would be 99 degrees and that I would be VERY glad I made extras to keep our little heroes hydrated throughout the party.

The party favor bags say "Thanks for making my birthday SUPER!" Inside were various superhero candies, mini-bottles of spiderman (or dora for the girls) bubble bath that I got on clearance at walmart for a whopping .37 cents.

For the food displays and table decor I used Melissa & Doug blocks to add a "superhero" feel to it. I bought them from a garage sale website on post here for half the price the go for online. I think it added quite a bit to the theme, and my kiddos enjoy building them and then knocking down the "skyscapers" with their Hulk SMASH!

Only the best for my little man... I've been a superman fan since I became a teenager. I have other superman shirts, but when we randomly came across this shirt (with a cape) in the back corner of a party store, I just kind of knew it was meant to be.

Printable comic strips for the kids to play with. The boys were content to chase each other around and go after "villians", the girls needed something a little different, so these were perfect transition activities from the welcome/photobooth to the obstacle course.

Table set-up with the phonebooth AND photobooth!

My hero.

I think this might be one of my very favorite uposed pictures of her, ever. Okay, unplanned. I was posng her with the "Happy 5th birthday , Kegan" sign and then I told her she could set it down. I asked for one more picture, said "Show me what supergirl does" and snapped without thinking. THIS is the product of that 25 second interaction. Love my girl... and this photo!

I'll say it again, when planning a superhero party, Hero H20 is a MUST.

The day before the party, I was in a state of chaos tryin to get everything pulled together in time. I'd shown hubby some of what I was working on and some of the ideas I had, and there were some that just didn't happen because I procrastinated and did everthing the last 2 weeks before. Friday (day before party day) hubby comes home with a freezer box and tells me he WILL make the phonebooth happen. In the weeks before, I kept looking at different blogs and the different ones people had done and telling myself there was no way I would have time or patience. In ONE night, he totally pulled it off. It added so much to the photos and the party ambiance. Some might think it's silly to add money to something so silly (paint isn't cheap), but my kids are STILL enjoying this and playing with it as often as we'll let them. Great job and big kudos to my awesome husband!

 

Hero-ing up!

In hindsight,  should have chosen a background for the "photobooth" with bigger, darker polka dots. And I should've considered that some were taller than my 3-4 ft tall offspring. It was enough for the targeted age participants, not for the older kids, who ended up being the most creative shots. Next time: Buy 2 yards of fabric.

                                                     

I didn't put a lot of thought or effort into the obstacle course, but every party suggestion site, blog and pin I found relating to superhero party throwing insisted that an obstacle course was the way to go. I didn't get around to some of the things I wanted to do (a large bar-bell made from foam balls) for them to "lift" or a few other things... but the double slide, 2x4, tunnel and villian webbing was enough. Everything but the "web" (Silly string) came from what we just had lying around the garage/playroom. I would definitely recommend getting extra silly string as well. Or perhaps getting larger cans than what Dollar Tree provides.

Taking down villians is serious stuff!

Good daddy!

These are probably one of my most favorite projects in preparation for this day. They are tedious, my hands were cramping... and they are MORE than worth it! I found them on a holiday blog as an idea to give out at valentines day! These were a HUGE hit and all the kids thought they were the coolest thing.. even the big kids!

The smile on his face made everything worth it.

There's not much more I can say.. but pictures are worth 1,000 words.

Me with my supergirl! :)

He got a Hulk mask AND hands for his birthday. Conflicting heroes/comic companies? Maybe. But he is adorable.

More of the hero photobooth/sign thing.

Cake number 2. Learned from the first, and this was 3 layers, also blue and red on the inside!

Set-up of the cake. Made the backdrop out of heavy duty project cardboard.

Close-up of the kids table!

All the (little) kiddos. I was very pleased with how everything came out. Probably the best party I've done to date. Love it!

We've done this every birthday since his first. :)

You can't have enough pictures of these little guys! :)

If I had an i-phone 4, this would've been a MAJOR staple in the party. Walmart carries posters, you download (for free) the superhero Augmented reality app and when you snap the picture, a plain old poster ends up like THIS! Would love to have been abe to print these out with each kid and send them home. You can choose any Avenger, K-man didn't have a Hulk poster yet. This was just hubs, his friend and I playing around with the app after everyone went home. When I upgrade in a few months, it's on! :)

That's all, folks!

You only live once! [25th birthday!]

So... I didn't have high expecations for my birthday. Not that I wasn't excited and didn't think I'd have a good day- but I couldn't decide (up till the morning of) what I wanted to do. We were planning a beach trip and the money set aside for that, we agreed to put toward rescuing our new addition, our Chi-weenie Bentley. It's something I believe in, something he supported and I was happy to post-pone the beach (giving myself more time to get beach-ready anyway) for our little pound puppy. He came from a bad environment and then spent 7 months in an animal shelter. No joke. So a week before he was to be put down, we took him home and made him part of our family. Our dogs love him, kids love him and he fits right in. He's skiddish because of what he's been through, but I can hardly blame him for that. It's been a few weeks and he's finally getting over it. He no longer runs and hides from me when I go to pick him up- and he is playing/snuggling with our other furbabies.

Anyway... up until this happened I was planning to go to Corpus Christi for my birthday. Just a small family get-a-way. So I looked into the zoo, shopping, sea world, stuff to do around the area. Nothing sounded like something I absolutely HAD to do on the day I got to do whatever I wanted. The night before googled the zoo we'd decided on and changed my mind... waking up on my birthday with no plan. We started heading to Austin, where I ended up mentioning I was curious about the Inner Space Cavern... hubby pulled off and we went.SO MUCH FUN!

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.

My day started like this:

My son woke up before my daughter, which is semi-unusual this late in the week. I was going to throw together some chocolate chip muffins (the betty crocker from the packet version) since I'm in a bit of a hurry today. He sweetly asked if he could help and then it occured to me that he could actually do them on his own as long as I measured for him. So I put the 1/2 c. water on the counter with a small bowl and the muffin mix. He added them together, stirred them up pretty well and I gave him a measuring cup and a baking pan. While he was stirring...

K- "Mom, is tomorrow your birthday?"
Me- "yes, baby. How'd you remember that?"
K- "Well, I'm so excited that I'm going to SCREAM!"
Me- "Why's that? haha. You know it's MY birthday, right?"
K- "Because, mom. I love you. You take care of me and do everything for me. And you protect me. So I'm excited about you."


Oh. My. Goodness. It's a miracle I didn't break into tears right then and there. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't struggled lately. They're 3 and 4.. but I spend 363 days out of a year feeling like the things I do are not appreciated. And that's okay, because part of being a good mom is not NEEDING recognition for the things you do. I do them because I love my family, and because that's my job. God blessed me with beautiful kids and a wonderful man, I'm happy to take care of them. However, it is VERY nice to feel like the effort you put into making sure they have food they enjoy eating and that their favorite clothes are always clean don't go unnoticed. That they know that those things don't just appear and that it required thought, planning and time that you give of your own free will. I am happy to accept those 363 days.. but this one (or two days) of him just taking the time to say "Mommy, I know what you do for me. And I am overwhelmed with love, and I am grateful for you" is hands down THE best birthday present I ever could've asked for. It makes me feel hopeful that I am raising a boy who will make me even more proud as a loving, appreciative, respectful, God-loving man. My little girl thanks me constantly. I pick up dirty laundry off her floor and she runs in there with a grin on her face and sparkles in her eyes saying "Thank you for cleaning my room, mommy." They're both really good about food (especially when they help prepare it). I usually hear something like "Mommy... you are the BEST cooker ever!"

I am blessed beyond measure. When a day starts like this one... it is impossible that it will not be a great one.

Hope everyone enjoys their long weekend. Hubby is off for my birthday tomorrow, we are hunting for Easter eggs on Saturday and Sunday will be the grilling/water fun. Cannot WAIT!

Home is where my husband is.

At first, I'll be honest. I didn't like it here much. There are a lot of sketchy areas and it's VERY easy to get lost, a lot of people are rude and the drivers are INSANE. Not what I remembered from our visits here, except the crazy drivers. Last year it was literally all fun and games and vacation spots. Nothing like the day to day routine that we started to experience here once hubby went back to work. I was missing my family, my hometown, my friends, our church friends. It was a little bit awful at first. Even though I'm happy to be with my husband and have my babies with their daddy, I just felt out of my element. I was in denial that we were staying here and kept lagging in the unpacking stage. I'm not really sure when it clicked, when it got comfortable or when it became "home"... but that's what has happened. I love it here. I love the weather, I love how busy it is all the time (if you know me, you know I'm a go person... you can sleep when you're dead)... and I LOVE having my family together. Sometimes we'll be at the park and hubby is on lunch and can swing by to say hi. Sometimes he actually gets to come home for lunch. Now we're able to have dinner together and most weekends.

So... the house, first. Right?

Outside.

Dining room area next to living room

Tiny kitchen.. next to dining area. I'm getting used to it. It's 1/2 the size of my KS space.

Keg & Em's bathroom. :)

Bathroom in the Master bedroom. My hubby is tolerant. ha.

This is easily the 10th time we've done his room since the move- it's still a work in progress.

Our babygirl's big girl bed! Her room is also still in progress.

Finished dining area.

Living room, fireplace and new couch. The door leads to our HUGE back porch.

Wall pieces for little man's room. The 2 on each side are from Etsy.

So that's most of the house. It's a work in progress... hubby and I are working on the front yard area and I'll get to that when we get some (consistent) nice weather. :)

I still miss my family every single day. Especially weeks like this one... the anniversary of my first dog's death, my grandfather's birthday and my cousin's birthday. But we've recently started skyping, so that helps. No matter what, home is where my husband is. It helps that I love it here and will be sad when we re-locate.

My quotable kids.

I have no idea where I'm going with this. I was planning to post some pictures of the house... Basically everything's done besides little man's room and the guest room. Got some pretty awesome stuff for K's walls but we've had some bad experiences with sticky tack so we're working out the kinks. Today we added a bean bag chair so he doesn't have to sit on the cold, hard floor while he plays his (educational) video games or reads his books, etc.
Both kids were absolutely hilarious today. I promised myself, family and friends a long time ago that I would document the hilarious and not-so pretty moments of their childhoods. So when they use words that make people (even me) blush... it's hard to want to put that out there for people who aren't in my inner circle. lol. However, I promised the good, the bad AND the ugly. So I get the kiddos bathed and dressed and send them to my bathroom so we can do their hair. I'm working on K's fauxhawk and Emily grabs my husbands deodorant and says "What's this, mom?" K-man didn't miss a beat... he said "It's for nipples." I about fell off the side of the bathtub. I had to explain to him the difference in space as to where it belongs. He understands sweat, etc. but apparently needs a lesson in male hygiene products. We try to teach our kids the right names for things... I know there's a lot of controversy between teaching them a socially acceptable name and the actual word for things, but I would prefer not to have a laundry list of code words to remember. We never used other words for bottles, pacifiers, diapers, tractors, cars, animals... so why do it for other things? So then he started asking for *gulp*... a brother. He informed me that I was, under no circumstances, to bring him another sister. lol. Out of curiousity, I asked him where babies come from expecting "From mommies" or "from your tummy" or something of that nature. Nope. He gets this "duh" look on his face and says "From the hospital, mom." In case you were wondering, there will NOT be another brother or sister. As of right now, not ever, just for the record. Just finding him friends at church and the park is enough. :) Let's see... a little less on the graphic side. It took me what felt like forever to get everyone's food on the table. They were all ravenous by 4:45 so I'm rushing to pull the roast out of the slow cooker and the potatoes out of the oven and the carrots were on the stove... so I am trying to fix their baked potatoes and get everything for them both at the same time. Baked potatoes are a little more involved than I remembered... butter, etc. and actually mashing them when they hadn't baked as long as -I- wanted them to. Everyone's sitting down and starting to eat before I've even pulled a plate out of the cabinet for myself. Keg stops what he's doing, gets this alarmed/concerned look on his face and says ... "My mommy makes ALLL this food and she doesn't even get to EAT it?" All I could think is that if he's this aware at 4 1/2... I must be doing something right. He's going to be a good man someday. <3 Even if he does put deodorant on his chest instead of his underarms. :)
Anyway... the big news around here from the last 2 weeks is that our little girl just up and decided she was done with pull-ups and potty trained herself. She decided and that was that... we had a few rough days and accidents but it's been over a week since the last one! So now every time she sees me leaving the restroom, she informs me that I'm a "big girl, good girl" and that she is "SO PROUD" of me. In 3 years this child didn't notice us using the big potty? haha. Then she's looking in the women's section at the store asking for underwear that are FAR too big for her because apparently she's decided she likes the designs better. So any tips on where I can find big girl toddler underwear that are NOT princess, plain or Dora themed would be appreciated! Not the grown-up-grown-up kind... polka dots, zebra stripes, etc. I found some at a store called "Ross" here... but she can't get enough and hubby and I want to encourage her as much as possible.

Big girl with her "I'm potty trained" gift. :)

Let's see... what else? I made a strawberry pretzel salad tonight that was to die for. It's got strawberry jello, frozen strawberries, crushed pineapple, crushed pretzel, cream cheese and whipped cream. My husband hates pretzels and jello. He loved it... and then tried to steal mine. Kiddos loved it as well! I had it when I was younger and never found a recipe or saw it anywhere else since.... so I've been waiting to make this for what feels like forever. Hubby wants to take some to work... huge hit! After roast, carrots and potatoes, it was a good night for food in this house. :) The wonderful, magical powers of pinterest.. bringing me childhood recipes I'd been missing for years!

What else? House pictures...
the uploader is all wonky today. I'll work on it.

The weather has been dreadful this week and I'm loving it. Getting a lot of deep cleaning and organizing done! Excited to hopefully finish little man's room this weekend. Putting up the superman picture of him that I blew up to poster size and framed this weekend with some prints we ordered from Etsy. Weee! (What has become of me that this is my idea of excitement?) ;)

Happy almost Friday everyone!