"Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand."

I had a moment with my little girl tonight that I honestly didn't think would come for several years. She struggles mildly with her speech articulation. Great vocabulary, understands what you are saying to her, she just has to train her tongue with certain sounds. She's made and continues to make excellent strides with a great teacher and practice. She barely qualified for speech classes because it was so mild. But still, people underestimate her.

Sometimes I think I make my kiddos littler than they are. I know they are sweet and smart and thoughtful in their own way. But I guess I also don't think them likely to ponder life's big questions. I was wrong. 

Emily and I are outside getting the patio ready for s'mores and she said "remember when we made s'mores with my papa and nana?" I said I did and she got quiet like she was thinking and said "mommy? Do you have a mom?" I told her yes and she said "what's she called?" I said her name... And she said "um, is she my grandma?" I am in awe of her. No articulation problem. She knew exactly what she wanted to ask and she said it. It stings... I won't lie. I have asked myself that same question many times. DO I have one? Obviously someone carried and delivered me into this world... But she isn't my mom in the sense that I am a mom to my kids. And my sweet girl knows the difference. Maybe I'm doing something right…

                                      

I feel sad for her that she's not even 5 and put that together completely on her own. She's 3 months shy of five years old and she KNOWS who comes in and out of her life. Maybe they learned that from having a daddy in the military. They know he loves them and wants to be with them, but that it's not always possible for him to be. I wish I could protect them from knowing that they have family who is rarely around for them, but at the same time I am SO proud of them for making those connections on their own. At 4 and 6 they know that it's not about gifts or cards every other year... It's about who is ALWAYS there. Even when they're not able to be. They understand that people come in and out of their lives when it's convenient for them and they understand who is always there for them. And I'm so glad that my dad married someone who is so wonderful with them, who took them in and loves them like her blood. I'm thankful that because of her, they will understand the love of a grandmother the way I have/do. Who makes sure they know how important they are, always. Who gives them her time and really shows them that they are valuable to her. From personal experience, that is irreplaceable. It's the kind of mom I strive to be. At the same time it makes me sad that they have already figured out that some people are only in their lives half of the time, if that and by choice. I hope they don't dwell on it for long, it is hurtful and I only want them surrounded by love. In a perfect world, right?

I hope everyone had a great Father's Day weekend! Wish I could have spent time with mine. I am fairly sure that my husband had a pretty good one. We grilled, enjoyed family time, had s'mores and made most of our one day together before he is back to work. I should add… That won't we were enjoying our s'mores, a giant spider decided to land on my arm. We turn on a light to kill it with fire and discover a black widow in a grab directly behind us. I scrubbed off about a layer of my skin… But it still creeps me out! Tomorrow I start working with my kids preparing them for school. Lots of beach and playtime planned for the summer, but I don't want them to get too out of the school habit! What are everyone's summer plans? Our big plans include sea world, San Diego zoo and our last Disneyland day!