Brightest nights or darkest days, I'll always feel the same way.

Ever have one of those life-altering moments that happens completely unexpectedly? Just catches you off guard? Where you have a choice to take the easy road or the choice to use a little self control and make a small, but important decision? I found myself at that crossroad tonight. I had my kids young. I had only been 20 for a month and a half when my son was born, and I had just turned 21 a few months before my daughter was born the following year. My dad is going to school for counseling and we had an interesting conversation a few months ago about how the prefrontal cortex of the brain doesn't develop until mid-20's (approximately age 25 for most women). This part of the brain controls our ability to make decisions based on possible consequences and outcomes, consider the reprocussions before acting, adjusting your behavior when a situation changes, adjusting your short term actions with long term goals, etc. So while I feel I've done the best I could as a mom and I know I haven't damaged my children for life, I feel that my maturity level as I'm getting older is making me a better mom. I wasn't always as understanding or patient as I should've been... I just set standards for how I felt my kids should act and expected it without really explaining why in the way I should've. When I learned that some of it actually does come with age, I became more aware of my thoughts, emotions and actions. Even without effort, I've beome more of a patient, calm, grounded individual. Change doesn't stress me the way it used to (for the most part, I still like my routine) and I adapt and do what needs to be done whether I like it or not and attempt to do so with little or no complaining.

Husband is out of town with his sister visiting their family for the evening, I'm not complaining because we've had company for over a week now. I welcomed the quiet and alone time with my kiddos. We had dinner together and they went off to play while I cleaned the kitchen... and then I finish and go back to check on them. Not one, but TWO enormous spots of paint missing from not one, but TWO of our bedroom doors. My children -never- do things like this. I mean, never. I was VERY angry because this time, I knew it was my son. He is extremely intelligent and I know that he knows better. His sister pulled some of it off earlier and he was there when she was disciplined for it. So several hours later he does the same thing, why? I wanted to lose my temper. Take away his toys, spank his bottom or put him to bed early. I excused myself to calm down, returned to his room and asked him why he'd done it. He kind of mumbled for a little while and then I asked "Did you pull the paint off of your door?" He responded (sadly) that he had. Little kids automatically want to put the blame away from them, they don't want to disappoint their parents and they don't want to be in trouble. Still, he told me the truth and admitted what he had done. I told him that I was upset and that I was very disappointed in him. That he was a smart boy and he knew better and that what he did was not okay. I explained that his sister had been in trouble earlier in the day for the exact same thing. I asked him if he had anything to say and he said "I just love you, mom. I'm so sorry I did that and I just want to tell the truth."

In that moment, I felt that it was an opportunity to teach him something. He's 5 now, and this was a chance for a life lesson on his level. I explained to him that everyone, even (especially) mommies and daddies and grown-ups do things that they shouldn't do and that God forgives us when we do them because He loves us. I told him that I would love him no matter what, but that it didn't mean I was any less disappointed in his behavior. That I didn't like what he did, but that it would never, ever change how I felt about him or how much I loved him. We talked, I explained to him that he was going to have his toys taken away and go to bed early and he would get them back tomorrow. He said he knew I loved him and apologized again for what he'd done. I just said we weren't going to do it again and we weren't going to talk about it again. Forgive, forget and move on.

I feel good about it. I could've lost my temper, shown him I was angry and missed the opportunity to teach my child something important. Instead, he learned that there are boundaries and limitations- and he is also learning the concept of forgiveness and unconditional love by deliberate example. (Even on your best behavior, kids will always repeat what you'd rather they didn't). My mother was never around for me, ever. I grew up wondering what I could've possibly done and 1 year old to make her take off and have more kids and really not look back and make an effort with the daughter she left behind. Looking at my kids, I could not fathom leaving them for any reason that was within my control. You'd have to literally kill me. I made a promise to myself that I would do better than my mom did, and though I'm far from a perfect mom, I feel that I've kept that promise to myself and to my kiddos. My dad raised me in a way that I knew, without a single doubt, that whatever I did, wherever I went, he would love me no matter what.

I am constantly faced with things that make me despise adulthood. We live in a cruel, sad, corrupt world and sometimes it makes me sick to think my children will have to grow up in it. But it is so fulfillng to tell your children something and know by the look on their face and the feeling of their little arms around your neck that they -really- understood what you were saying to them. I'm so blessed to have such great kids... even when I stress and worry about who they will become and if I'm doing the right things raising them, they never cease to amaze me with how truly good they are.

Sometimes being an adult isn't all that bad, at least not the mommy bits of it.

"There he is, my little man. I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then. And I pray to God that when he does, I'll be just as understanding as my father was. Cause the last thing that I wanna do is let him down. So instead of bein' angry, I'm gonna throw my arms around him and I'll say 'In the sunlight or the rain, brighest nights or darkest days, I'll always feel the same way. Whatever road you may be on, know you're never too far gone. My love is there, wherever you may be. Just remember that you'll always be my baby.'"

Superhero Bash!

Where do I begin?

With the birthday guy, of course!

This is the photo that went on the birthday event invite on facebook.. as well as the one that was (I'm still working on this) sent to family for his "5 year old" photo. He rocked it, and I am very happy with how the picture came out!

As I said, this was his 5th birthday! Where does the time go? It feels like it's gone slowly, but at the same time I can remember when he was a teeny, tiny newborn like it was yesterday. The things that have gone in between sometimes fly like a film-strip. The first time he crawled, his first steps, the first time he actully tried to eat dog poo (The ONLY time, Thank God. blech), being there when his sister was born, helping and being such a great brother...developing his own personality. He is so funny and so sweet and so protective. And in 2 1/2 months he will be going off to kindergarten. I'll say it again, where does the time go? In those 5 years, I've never actually MADE his cake for his birthday party, I'd made him cakes before... but only for the 4 of us and half always went in the trash. I don't like frosting, hubby's not a cake eater and we try to keep it healthy with the kids. This year, I saw something I kind of liked, had an idea and ended up with the picture above. :) K-man loved the Captain America cake mommy MADE him (he emphasized) and insisted that I make one for his party also. Hubby took some to work and agreed, so I made another for the party day.

Started off with simple decor for his actual birthday... we haven't been able to use latex balloons, it was a possibility this year and I just went with it. Cheap, makes everything decorated and my kids have had hours of entertainment with them for over a week. I just used a little bit of ribbon and tied them to the light hanging from the kitchen.

I saw a version of this on pinterest, but doing it the night before when I was still preparing for the party was a bit mch for me... so I just hung some streamers and balloons from his doorway after he went to bed the night before his birthday.. from the look on his face, that will be a permanent birthday "thing" in our family from here on out. Made him feel special as soon as he opened his eyes on his day.

Blowing out his candles on his birthday morning. :)

These are the certificates we sent home with each kiddo after the birthday party. Once they completed the obstacle course, defeated the villians, learned to mask their identity in the phonebooth and created their own heroes in color-it-yourself comic strips, they were certified SuperHero Academy Grads!

Spot at the head of the table for the guest of honor.

Hero H20 with printables from here! When I started planning this party, I obviously knew it got hot in Texas and usually is on K's birthday. I did NOT know that it would be 99 degrees and that I would be VERY glad I made extras to keep our little heroes hydrated throughout the party.

The party favor bags say "Thanks for making my birthday SUPER!" Inside were various superhero candies, mini-bottles of spiderman (or dora for the girls) bubble bath that I got on clearance at walmart for a whopping .37 cents.

For the food displays and table decor I used Melissa & Doug blocks to add a "superhero" feel to it. I bought them from a garage sale website on post here for half the price the go for online. I think it added quite a bit to the theme, and my kiddos enjoy building them and then knocking down the "skyscapers" with their Hulk SMASH!

Only the best for my little man... I've been a superman fan since I became a teenager. I have other superman shirts, but when we randomly came across this shirt (with a cape) in the back corner of a party store, I just kind of knew it was meant to be.

Printable comic strips for the kids to play with. The boys were content to chase each other around and go after "villians", the girls needed something a little different, so these were perfect transition activities from the welcome/photobooth to the obstacle course.

Table set-up with the phonebooth AND photobooth!

My hero.

I think this might be one of my very favorite uposed pictures of her, ever. Okay, unplanned. I was posng her with the "Happy 5th birthday , Kegan" sign and then I told her she could set it down. I asked for one more picture, said "Show me what supergirl does" and snapped without thinking. THIS is the product of that 25 second interaction. Love my girl... and this photo!

I'll say it again, when planning a superhero party, Hero H20 is a MUST.

The day before the party, I was in a state of chaos tryin to get everything pulled together in time. I'd shown hubby some of what I was working on and some of the ideas I had, and there were some that just didn't happen because I procrastinated and did everthing the last 2 weeks before. Friday (day before party day) hubby comes home with a freezer box and tells me he WILL make the phonebooth happen. In the weeks before, I kept looking at different blogs and the different ones people had done and telling myself there was no way I would have time or patience. In ONE night, he totally pulled it off. It added so much to the photos and the party ambiance. Some might think it's silly to add money to something so silly (paint isn't cheap), but my kids are STILL enjoying this and playing with it as often as we'll let them. Great job and big kudos to my awesome husband!

 

Hero-ing up!

In hindsight,  should have chosen a background for the "photobooth" with bigger, darker polka dots. And I should've considered that some were taller than my 3-4 ft tall offspring. It was enough for the targeted age participants, not for the older kids, who ended up being the most creative shots. Next time: Buy 2 yards of fabric.

                                                     

I didn't put a lot of thought or effort into the obstacle course, but every party suggestion site, blog and pin I found relating to superhero party throwing insisted that an obstacle course was the way to go. I didn't get around to some of the things I wanted to do (a large bar-bell made from foam balls) for them to "lift" or a few other things... but the double slide, 2x4, tunnel and villian webbing was enough. Everything but the "web" (Silly string) came from what we just had lying around the garage/playroom. I would definitely recommend getting extra silly string as well. Or perhaps getting larger cans than what Dollar Tree provides.

Taking down villians is serious stuff!

Good daddy!

These are probably one of my most favorite projects in preparation for this day. They are tedious, my hands were cramping... and they are MORE than worth it! I found them on a holiday blog as an idea to give out at valentines day! These were a HUGE hit and all the kids thought they were the coolest thing.. even the big kids!

The smile on his face made everything worth it.

There's not much more I can say.. but pictures are worth 1,000 words.

Me with my supergirl! :)

He got a Hulk mask AND hands for his birthday. Conflicting heroes/comic companies? Maybe. But he is adorable.

More of the hero photobooth/sign thing.

Cake number 2. Learned from the first, and this was 3 layers, also blue and red on the inside!

Set-up of the cake. Made the backdrop out of heavy duty project cardboard.

Close-up of the kids table!

All the (little) kiddos. I was very pleased with how everything came out. Probably the best party I've done to date. Love it!

We've done this every birthday since his first. :)

You can't have enough pictures of these little guys! :)

If I had an i-phone 4, this would've been a MAJOR staple in the party. Walmart carries posters, you download (for free) the superhero Augmented reality app and when you snap the picture, a plain old poster ends up like THIS! Would love to have been abe to print these out with each kid and send them home. You can choose any Avenger, K-man didn't have a Hulk poster yet. This was just hubs, his friend and I playing around with the app after everyone went home. When I upgrade in a few months, it's on! :)

That's all, folks!