September-January Recap.

I'm going to have to try a lot harder to update more than every six months ! Since September... we went home and visited family (October), November we spent Thanksgiving with my hubby's family (and black friday shopped) and December was a blur because a day after our October trip to Kansas... the husband got a call offering him an AGR position in California. We had 48 hours to decide and... surprise, we took it! We now live just about an hour from Disneyland, we visited Hollywood the day before the Oscars. After going home to Kansas again for Christmas. Easier to sum it up with  photos. I really missed the trees changing color and the cooler weather. Turns out, it does happen in Texas, but it happens when it's winter everywhere else. :)

This is the same pumpkin patch we took the kids to every year since my K-man was a tiny thing. Great memories! Sad that we probably won't make it this year... it's a day and a half drive! :(

Thanksgiving 2012 with the in-laws.... it was good times, great food. I miss them a lot.

A week or so later, I got influenza from my little man and lost 12 pounds. Never been so scared for my kiddos, ever. No sleep, sick myself and seeing them that miserable was the absolute worst experience. I haven't had soda since though. Almost 4 1/2  months now!

December consisted of packing, cleaning, getting rid of stuff and spending time with our best Texas friends. I miss Texas, and miss them. I kicked and screamed moving there and I am pretty sure I cried more when we left Texas than a year before when we moved from Kansas. Lots and lots of "see you later" was overwhelming. It's nice to still be able to keep in touch, though. Planning to have friends to stay with us here this summer, cannot wait!

Christmas/farewell summary-

Christmas in Kansas...

Great times! :)

We traveled from Kansas to Colorado, then through the Rocky Mountains to Utah, crashed for the night and then moved on to Las Vegas. GREAT trip. It was exhausting, but well worth the memories.

Bellagio fountains! We waited 45 minutes for about a 5 minute show... but it was worth it just to check it off the bucket list.

Another bucket list... top of the (Vegas) Eiffel tower. 

View from the top.

Kids on the top!

We spent 3 weeks living in a hotel. Exploring the area and fell in love. We got K in his new school, which (long story), we later transferred him out of. It wasn't in our housing area and there was insane drama between some of the parents in the class that made the learning environment less than idyllic for our kiddo. So we moved in, switched school and finally have settled into our routine. 

It's beautiful here!

And that's all I've got for now. I missed a lot, I'm sure... but to get to the next, it was necessary. And proves a point for what I'm working next. :)

Recap.

Yesterday was the first day of fall... celebrated with caramel cinnamon rolls and bacon for breakfast for my babes. Second day of fall... slow cooker bbq pork chops for dinner. We plan to visit home next month... it's already pretty cold there, so I am definitely looking forward to hoodies and crunchy leaves and cider at the pumpkin patch! I think it's the only thing that will make the Texas faux-fall tolerable. We will have one chilly morning with nice breezes and leaves falling, get out fall clothes and by the afternoon it's almost 100 degrees. Not cool at all, mother nature. Very much looking forward to seeing family and close friends, and especially how beautiful it is there this time of year. Our post is brown, colorless (and I'm serious... everything is brown or tan and it's either dead grass or dust).. I'm ready for trees in different colors, beautiful buildings, bricks.

I never thought growing up that I would miss Leavenworth, KS if I left.

The funny thing is... that while I'm anxious to visit there, I cannot imagine moving back. It makes me sad to say so. It just feels like it would be living backwards, not to say I couldn't imagine living in the area. Even the thought of it makes me feel claustrophobic. MY ideal would be spending 9 months out of the year in a different state, then spending fall and the first part of winter at home.

Little man started school. It's going well, I miss him during the days but we have finally gotten past the rough adjustment patch and developed a routine. Loving lunch with him every Friday... kindergarten is cute. :)

 Our first day of school tradition. :)

This followed our first trip to the Gulf! 

And then our little girl turned 4 years old! How time flies... we celebrated with a much smaller than normal party, but it was perfect for her. She wasn't feeling overwhelmed, it was just us, her best friend and their family and another couple who are family friends. Taco bar, Dora theme... sopapilla cheesecake. 

Individual 7-layer dip.

My princess, her bff and their matching "Best friends" necklaces. :)

The day after the shin-dig, we celebrated our baby's birthday and said goodbye to summer and made our yearly trip to Sea World!

                                   

                               

And now we are back to reality... till it's time to go home and visit. I am so ready for our pumpkin patch trip! I found my kid's first year scrapbooks yesterday... including our first trip to the pumpkin patch when my son was just 5 months old. I think it's my favorite of our family traditions. :)

And I've really got nothing else. Sorry for the vague recap that relies almost completely on the "one picture is worth 1,000 words" thing. So I'll just leave with a cute picture of my kiddos and my sweet girl with her bff at story time this week.

Can you tell we're ready for a season change?

Our sweet girls in their matching bff shirts and necklaces.  

You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.

So, I'm going to be a little bit (totally) honest.

Is there anything worse than busting your butt, giving everything you've got and feeling completely unappreciated? I am physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I am overwhelmed. I am invisible. I am alone.

But then you dry your tears, suck it up, put on your big girl panties, and do whatever needs to be done anyway. It can't storm forever. Right?



Day 2. A few 6-word memoirs.

Selfish girl turned dedicated mom/wife.

Learned to be mommy, without mine.

Seeing life through my children's eyes.

Experiencing unconditional love from tiny dogs.

Stronger than I ever thought possible.

Best friends, more than a label.

 Got my skills from my Grandma.

Decided that "someday" is actually today.

Day 1. 15 facts about you.

15 facts about you.

1. I believe that no matter what I achieve in my life, my children will be my greatest accomplishments. They are my everything.
2. I was first introduced to my husband when he friend requested and emailed me on myspace. We met a few weeks later when he came into the restaurant where I worked in the town I was born and raised and he just so happened to be stationed. 5th weddng anniversary next month, he's my best friend in the world.
3. I was raised by my daddy, and I don't care how old I am, I will always be a daddy's girl. I don't have a relationship with my mom.
4. I wish I were a better Christian and it's something I struggle with. I miss our congregation in MO more than words can say.
5. I love, love, love to cook. Creating something and seeing people enjoy it makes me happy.
6. I wouldn't call myself a photographer, but it's something I really, really enjoy. I'm not sure I could do it professionally, but definitely would love to for family and friends.
7. I'm going to plan REALLY awesome parties for other people someday... and get paid for it.
8. 4th of July is my Christmas. I am a pyromaniac.
9. If "personal shopper" were a job, I would ROCK at it. I always find THE best deals on just about everything. (at least that's why my friens and family are -always- telling me) I might just have to MAKE it a profession. ;)
10. I'm fully aware of how cliche it sounds, but adopting a shelter dog was a profound, life changing event for me.
11. I watch Grey's Anatomy from season 1 to the current season once a year. Start to finish. I got into it after the 6th season and just love it.
12. I have about 5 dream vacations, most of them involve disney, harry potter or large, dirty cities.
13. I want the American dream for my kiddos. Nothing and no one is perfect, but one of my biggest goals in life is that my kids have a happy childhood and grow up well rounded and become the best people they can be. It's cheesy and cliche, but I'm all about backyard bbqs on the weekends, family movie nights, stories before bedtime, birthday blowouts, family picnics in the park, family vacations, coaching their teams {or at the very least attending every game}, sitting at the dinner table together at every meal possible. The whole 9 yards, I want it all because that's what they deserve.
14. Unless it's buttercream, I HATE frosting/icing. Gross.
15. I might be a hypochondriac. If I have really bad headaches, I will seriously lay in bed trying to fall asleep terrified I've got a brain tumor or an aneurysm. I worry about cancer constantly, thyroid, diabeties, etc. I am aware of how absurd it is, but I've always been a worrier, even since I was a kid.

15 Day Challenge!

Brightest nights or darkest days, I'll always feel the same way.

Ever have one of those life-altering moments that happens completely unexpectedly? Just catches you off guard? Where you have a choice to take the easy road or the choice to use a little self control and make a small, but important decision? I found myself at that crossroad tonight. I had my kids young. I had only been 20 for a month and a half when my son was born, and I had just turned 21 a few months before my daughter was born the following year. My dad is going to school for counseling and we had an interesting conversation a few months ago about how the prefrontal cortex of the brain doesn't develop until mid-20's (approximately age 25 for most women). This part of the brain controls our ability to make decisions based on possible consequences and outcomes, consider the reprocussions before acting, adjusting your behavior when a situation changes, adjusting your short term actions with long term goals, etc. So while I feel I've done the best I could as a mom and I know I haven't damaged my children for life, I feel that my maturity level as I'm getting older is making me a better mom. I wasn't always as understanding or patient as I should've been... I just set standards for how I felt my kids should act and expected it without really explaining why in the way I should've. When I learned that some of it actually does come with age, I became more aware of my thoughts, emotions and actions. Even without effort, I've beome more of a patient, calm, grounded individual. Change doesn't stress me the way it used to (for the most part, I still like my routine) and I adapt and do what needs to be done whether I like it or not and attempt to do so with little or no complaining.

Husband is out of town with his sister visiting their family for the evening, I'm not complaining because we've had company for over a week now. I welcomed the quiet and alone time with my kiddos. We had dinner together and they went off to play while I cleaned the kitchen... and then I finish and go back to check on them. Not one, but TWO enormous spots of paint missing from not one, but TWO of our bedroom doors. My children -never- do things like this. I mean, never. I was VERY angry because this time, I knew it was my son. He is extremely intelligent and I know that he knows better. His sister pulled some of it off earlier and he was there when she was disciplined for it. So several hours later he does the same thing, why? I wanted to lose my temper. Take away his toys, spank his bottom or put him to bed early. I excused myself to calm down, returned to his room and asked him why he'd done it. He kind of mumbled for a little while and then I asked "Did you pull the paint off of your door?" He responded (sadly) that he had. Little kids automatically want to put the blame away from them, they don't want to disappoint their parents and they don't want to be in trouble. Still, he told me the truth and admitted what he had done. I told him that I was upset and that I was very disappointed in him. That he was a smart boy and he knew better and that what he did was not okay. I explained that his sister had been in trouble earlier in the day for the exact same thing. I asked him if he had anything to say and he said "I just love you, mom. I'm so sorry I did that and I just want to tell the truth."

In that moment, I felt that it was an opportunity to teach him something. He's 5 now, and this was a chance for a life lesson on his level. I explained to him that everyone, even (especially) mommies and daddies and grown-ups do things that they shouldn't do and that God forgives us when we do them because He loves us. I told him that I would love him no matter what, but that it didn't mean I was any less disappointed in his behavior. That I didn't like what he did, but that it would never, ever change how I felt about him or how much I loved him. We talked, I explained to him that he was going to have his toys taken away and go to bed early and he would get them back tomorrow. He said he knew I loved him and apologized again for what he'd done. I just said we weren't going to do it again and we weren't going to talk about it again. Forgive, forget and move on.

I feel good about it. I could've lost my temper, shown him I was angry and missed the opportunity to teach my child something important. Instead, he learned that there are boundaries and limitations- and he is also learning the concept of forgiveness and unconditional love by deliberate example. (Even on your best behavior, kids will always repeat what you'd rather they didn't). My mother was never around for me, ever. I grew up wondering what I could've possibly done and 1 year old to make her take off and have more kids and really not look back and make an effort with the daughter she left behind. Looking at my kids, I could not fathom leaving them for any reason that was within my control. You'd have to literally kill me. I made a promise to myself that I would do better than my mom did, and though I'm far from a perfect mom, I feel that I've kept that promise to myself and to my kiddos. My dad raised me in a way that I knew, without a single doubt, that whatever I did, wherever I went, he would love me no matter what.

I am constantly faced with things that make me despise adulthood. We live in a cruel, sad, corrupt world and sometimes it makes me sick to think my children will have to grow up in it. But it is so fulfillng to tell your children something and know by the look on their face and the feeling of their little arms around your neck that they -really- understood what you were saying to them. I'm so blessed to have such great kids... even when I stress and worry about who they will become and if I'm doing the right things raising them, they never cease to amaze me with how truly good they are.

Sometimes being an adult isn't all that bad, at least not the mommy bits of it.

"There he is, my little man. I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then. And I pray to God that when he does, I'll be just as understanding as my father was. Cause the last thing that I wanna do is let him down. So instead of bein' angry, I'm gonna throw my arms around him and I'll say 'In the sunlight or the rain, brighest nights or darkest days, I'll always feel the same way. Whatever road you may be on, know you're never too far gone. My love is there, wherever you may be. Just remember that you'll always be my baby.'"